Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
