I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We talked him into tasing himself.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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