There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
