What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
