She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
