woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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