I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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