If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Screwed.edu
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
