Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
