Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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