You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize