Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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