you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
