I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
