Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
