i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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