Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
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