When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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