hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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