He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
