had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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