Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
