capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
