If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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