First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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