Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
