let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
