Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
