Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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