then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I will be naked everywhere
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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