There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
