I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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