Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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