Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
