Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
