More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
