He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
