I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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