I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize