I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
