The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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