No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
