she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I did not marry a roomba.
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