youre lurking in front of me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
