she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
