happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
