Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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