You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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