We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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