I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
