i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
