so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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