bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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