did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
