can we get nightvision for the apartment?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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