I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
