I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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