You're completely useless in the revolution.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
