I didn't shave. On purpose
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize