Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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