btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
