i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
