I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
